big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
