I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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