I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
