the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he shaved USA in his pubs
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
