This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
