i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
