I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The uberlube is also flammable
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
