i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize