community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
