ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
