READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
