Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Are we still banned from the library?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
