This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
