So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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