watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
