11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
