I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
