I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
