now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
