my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
