Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
