I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
