I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize