I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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