so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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