how can u be prego again
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
