Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
