I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
