The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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