Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
