bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
