Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
