doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
do herpes really smell.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
