You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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