dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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