just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
