My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
