tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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