You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
