Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
