If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sex in a hospital.. check
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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