What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
