I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
