i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
