It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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