I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize