Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
