Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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