my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
