You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
