Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
