I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
