whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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