Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
